I decided that my recovery is coming in leaps and bounds now (with stretches of time with no significant change) rather than each day so incremental as it was at first. My back muscles are so much looser now and seem to be figuring out how to move more smoothly rather than so jerky. I've been trying to stretch and move as much as is allowed. My left side still has some numbness at the waist and hip but my right side is nearly free of all numbness (just between the shoulder blades is a bit numb). I was out and about for about 6 hours yesterday without getting terribly sore and just a bit tired. I had to rest for a couple hours afterward.
I'm walking 2 miles some days and it's not too bad. However now that weather has dipped below freezing and I'm thinking I'll have to go use my parent's elliptical to get my exercise in. With the temps are dropping here the brace is more tolerable. Also bulkier layers make it easier to cover up. :)
I've been wondering if I need to keep up the huge caloric intake still. I've been less hungry than at the beginning and I've slowly been gaining weight that I lost towards the beginning (and then a few extra pounds). I guess I need to make healthier food choices so the ones I eat are helping me heal and not just adding fat. I'd probably have more energy too.
I have had some people dealing scoliosis tell me that I've been helpful by sharing this. It's certainly a pleasant and unexpected side effect of going through all that I have. I love being able to give some advice or information and feel like I'm helping in some small way.
I really like this quote. It is too true. Without the struggles I've endured in my life I would not be as strong as I am. I think if I could generally be patient and positive while dealing with pain then I surely can be patient and positive when I'm free from pain, etc. Mostly I'm grateful that through my struggles I have come closer to God. He makes weak things strong. God is my strength!
In regards to my mental health, I'm doing much better. We had some beautiful, warm, sunny days and I soaked up as much of it as I could. The freedom of driving is fantastic. I've actually only driven a few times in the past weeks but know that if I choose to I can. Also, as I'm not so down, I've observed some things about my depression. When I am in that negative state of mind, everything feels so bleak and overwhelming. It can be difficult to see things as they really are and the people that really are there. It's like I shut my eyes to block everything out and forget that I can choose to open them and look for the light in my life. When I finally do, I see reality isn't nearly as awful as it seemed. When I felt like my house was falling apart I realized there actually wasn't much to it. Just some clutter on the counters that I could sort through. When a few shoes and socks or other things are left on the floor I realized it overwhelmed me because getting things up off the floor is a challenge for me right now. Sometimes I forget I have a grabber to help with that. A sink full of dishes? Well it doesn't bother my back to load the top rack of the dishwasher and wash a few things by hand. Trying to be proactive in finding ways to be a bit more independent and find purpose has be very helpful.
My husband is incredible at helping me see a true picture of how things are. He's also amazing at getting the kids to all pitch in and help him keep things organized around the house. I know this surgery has been a challenge for him as well. He's such a good example of someone who deals with challenges head on, with great faith and perseverance. He builds me up and encourages me. He makes me laugh. He see all my flaws and loves me for who I am and who I am becoming. He's a positive force in my life and I want to be a better person because of him. It's a blessing to be married to him!
